Yesterday was bad luck. I went to Sentosa in the morning. Took the shuttle bus to Beaufort. Decided to take the stairs down to the room. The place was dark, the lights were dim. I fell. My ankle kinda folded. And now I can't walk. Stayed in the hotel the whole day while the others went swimming. Got a wheelchair. I felt like a burden. They had a hard time pushing me when there were slopes and stuff. haiz. Went to the Golf Country Club. Heard that Lee Kuan Yew plays there. The membership cost $500,000. Every year, they have to pay at least $500,000. Had to wear proper attire there. I almost got kicked out cos I wore slippers. Looked at the menu, a lot of pork dishes. Had a hard time choosing something to eat. And what the hell, they forgot about my order D: Everyone got their meal except me. Aunt Aton says that this was not my day. Everyone spoke German, so my mum and I were left out for a moment. The food was delicious though. After that, went back to the hotel. Talk2. Went home.
Summary. 1. Fell down the stairs 2. Ankle sprained I think 3. Food forgotten 4. Cramps ( menses) 5. Insufficient sanitary pads D: 6. Had to cancel my meeting with Sakinah ( sorry) 7. Missed Savitha's birthday ):
My grandma and my mum and everybody were at food court in Downtown East. Grandma wanted to go to the toilet. After going to the toilet, she got lost in Downtown east, trying to find a way to get back to the court. 45mins later, she finally approached a teen boy.
Nenek: Nak, bole tunjukkan cik maner Downtown East ? [ Son, can you sure me wheres DTE?] Boy: Cik, ni lah downtown east. [ this is downtown east]
Today is sad,sad day. Didn't go to school today. Shall not state why. Woke up early, mama said she gave up our custody and giving up the house. Thanks a lot, mama. You broke your promise. I still kept mine despite the emotional ride I went through. She left for work. I cried my heart out. Right now, karma's hitting me like a bitch though I doubt I deserve such a thing or whatever it's called. After my downpour, I got ready to go to the clinic. Told dad about it. At the clinic, saw Sebastian. He was in his uniform. So yeah, when it was my turn, I told the doctor I had insomnia, and I am always nauseous. He wanted to send me for a pregnancy test right away ! :o This is Virgin Sabby you're sending !
Then he whispered, " are you sexually active?" It took quite sometime for the words to register in my head, yet alone me responding. And of course I said no. Then I told him about my frequent asthma attacks. He ran some tests and stuff. Told me he's giving me the turbuhaler. " OH SHIT" I screamed in my mind. Not because I was afraid, but because I knew that baby's costly. I only have $15 D: No phone, no nothing. I was helpless. He gave me two days' mc because of my bad asthma. My condition's worse now. Got to the second floor, this kind nurse thought me how to use it. The other nurse was also helpful. They thought I was working already. Asked my job. Lol. Sedih. Then got the meds and went to make payment. I was nervous.
Staff : $28.05 Sabby: huh ? ( i really couldnt hear) Staff: $28.05 Because of your turbuhaler. Sabby: (SHIT !) Um, I only have $20. Can I come back at 2 ? Staff: ( Chopped my mc) Sabby:(YES !) Staff: How much again ? Sabby; $20. I'll come back at 2. Staff : Okay sure.
I took out all my coins till it add up to $20. Haha. paisey seh ! All the 20cent coins. Haizz. I'm a poor,poor girl. No one gave me money to go to the clinic ): Poor me. Haha.
Got back. Nita told me my mum was very very worried and scared. She couldn't concentrate during her meeting cos she and my dad thought I ran away ! LOL ! Well, I did want to run away just now but I have no place to go. Besides, what hold me back was that my mum might not realise I'm missing till she come back. Well, I was wrong. They couldnt find me at the private clinic and mum assumed I ran away. She didnt rell my dad why. But I think she knows ! So obvious. Then I realise, she didnt tell my dad about her giving up the custody. She just wanted to scare me. She just crushed me. Haiz. I know that I cant tell her how I feel right now. I guess I just have to bottle it all up inside.
There was a traffic jam today. Pity those people who were affected. Had POA for the first two periods. It was okay. I think I like Mr Teo a lil more now. Had English after that. Mdm Rohanah never come ! $#^%$%! Wasted my time doing her homework D: I could have used the time to do my dnt. Had Dnt then. Scared to death. Majority came with incomplete work. Mr Tan was very unhappy and started lecturing us. I think I like him now. I admire his effort and all. I actually like him pushing us beyond the limit. Then, recess ! Yay ! :D Went to the study corner, study. Goodgirl as usual 8) Approached Anson, asked him why he didnt go recess. He was trying to skip club wellness. Lol. So offered to buy him and his friends drinks. Feels good to help someone. Anson belanje-d his friends the drinks after I said " why all give big notes ?" Haha. sorry2. Had physics after that, SAKINAH CRACKED ME UP TO SHIT. I just had to share it with everyone. Sorry, sakinah, hope you're not mad, but it's so funny(to me though). Firdaus said I bastard ):
SAKINAH'S MORNING POEM You are my summer of the morning. I always hear you MOANING.
LMAO.
I couldnt stop laughing ! Omg. Didnt expect to hear that ! hahaha. continue later, i wanna sleep.
Mama sent me to school today ! Carry my bag for me some more x) Haha. Kinda paisey when I saw my friends. Lol. So yeah, my bag was super heavy, I couldn't balance ! First period was Maths. Graphs. Graphs and more graphs. Gave us homework ): Then, it was PE. HAHAHAHA. Mr Singgam cracks me up. He don't really care about discipline and all those shit. I prefer him than my previous teacher :DD Ran outside school, hella fun. Sakinah was the first girl to finish and I was the second. Yay me ! :P
Thenthen, recess ! Sakinah ate noodles and chicken rice :o So small, yet a big stomach ! :D After eating, followed Deena to make a call to her girlfriend. Funny la. She keep changing the sim cards and all. Like trying to make a bomb behind the school ! Serious! She was like rushing and all and I was laughing and laughing x) Then her girlfriend finally answered, her girlfriend seems sweet ! Got to talk to her. But all I did was said Hello. I dono what else to say ! Theeeeen, went to study corner. Chitchat with Haziq and Nazrul (?) Is that his name ? I am so sorry. Talked about poa and stuff. Bell rang. I couldn't remember where's my class. Zzzzz. Memory loss again. Walked around the Sec3s and 2s. Stupid right ? Saw Cherng Jin. Is that his name ? Err yeah, so anyways, weather was scorching hot, I refused to sit.
History lesson. No comments. CME. Nick , the no legs and arms guy, seem hot (: Poa soon after, what a drag. We were like falling asleep lor. Radiah ate her cereals. And Anwar couldnt wait to eat his hotdogs. He eat until comot ! Lmao. Revised for the test. Then test =.= Couldnt remember a thing. I looked at Aiman's answer, no use. He looked at me and asked for the answer too. Nabil turned to me and asked me if I knew the answers. I shook( is that how you spell it ??) my head and copied some of his answers. Haha. He actually read it outloud. Basil told him some answers. Then, he tried to copy Matthew's answer script, but me and Aiman were unhappy. So, we decided to hand it in and fail together :DD
Conversation of the day Sabby: Is she bi or les ? D : I'm not pure les !! I'm- Sabby: Noooo ! I meant her. hahahaha D: Oh, bi. Sabby:* Mock what happened* D: Bisexuals are very defensive. Sabby: *Giggles
Today, Sabby is very grateful :D God has answered my prayers ! Since last night, I was begging God to do something for me. Then I remembered, the last time I begged God for something, I had to do something in return. So, today I made a vow to kill the grandson of Kateni :D Nah.. Kidding. If the grandson sees this, he's gonna yell at me :o Better make it smaller. Anyway, I did make a vow, and I am not gonna tell you what it is ! Never, never, never. I thought of vowing to pray 5 times a day. But who am I kidding ? So yeah, Sabby is very happy :DD But sad that I have to keep my vow D:
Nevertheless, today is a GREAT DAY, except for the time Mdm Rohanah made Belinda, Juliza and I tie up our hair, and then lecture us -.- Uncalled for. My hair ain't that long.
Oh yeah, an update, I LOVE MY BIG BROTHER :D I never thought I say this, I forgive half the things he did to me (:
Lalalalalaa~ Lalalalalaa~ I love today. Peace out homies !
I am currently wasting time. I have yet to touch my D&T sketchbook. Another sleepless night I guess. School really poops me out. What more if I start working ? :o
These days, my hormones are driving me nutts. And my attraction to guys irritates me. Urghhh. They're all like magnets :p Honestly, I'm just blogging so I don't have to do my dnt. Haiz. I should get started. Nah..maybe later.
Okay, I have nothing to say.
Oh, btw, firdaus you were right; talking about boys does keep us girls together. Aliah, where have you been ??? hahahha
Watched Red Cliff 2 today. What a great movie ! But a lil gruesome for me. Haha. But I love it !! Zhu-ge is sooo hot. Kanehuiro is good actor and he's so hot. haha. I was like attracted to him as I watched it. Hees. I'm like fangirl-ing over him :p So yeah, movie was great, you should totally watch it.
So after the movie, I was really giddy and sleepy. Couldnt walk or see properly. While waiting for my dad's satay, i was like standing around. And of all the people in the world, I saw the greenview soccer boys. I mean it's like night time, arent they tired? with their bags and all ? I was super sleepy and stone but still managed to wave at Hidir and Divesh. After that, took the bus home. Thanks dad. Bathed. Sleep.
Finally, FRIDAY. The day I've been waiting for all week ! Phew ! Today was okay. Urm, nothing much happen. Had dnt, thank god, mr tan forgot about my hair. As he talked to us, I still think he's abit like Hitler. Hahaha. But it's good though, kinda motivates me somewhat. So yeah, CCA fair today. Didnt attend it. Me and Sakinah tried to join CSC, butbut, Mr----- something don't allow ): He said we were already graduating. Alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. haha. So Sakinah and me are like cca-less. I am soo not gonna go back to taekwondo. Fendi comes every lesson. I never want to see that heartless-man-while-sparing-even-when-you-are-a-freaking-girl-who-is-a-white-belt.
You know, I can feel myself changing. I've grown bigger. HAVE YOU SEEN MY HIPS ?? They have started expanding after 4 years :O Darn it. So anyways, I think I'm somewhat more mature, more "relaxed" (not literally), quieter, less hyper(not applicable after consumption of sports drink), more determined and more aggressive and somewhat outspoken.
More mature; I've come to respect my younger brother and speak to him like an adult should. I also decided to shower him love by hugging and kissing his cheek every morning before we go to school. I've chosen to create a bond with him. Afterall, he's my only true blood brother. (: Besides my brother, I've also looked at things and people from a different view. I am more understanding towards situation. I've also avoid speculation and be judgemental towards people's personality by appearance. Those who I think are minahs, are not minahs to me anymore. Those who I think are trying too hard to be cool are no longer thought that way. I've also started respecting my teachers more. I try to look at them in a positive way. As for friends, I don't really pay too much attention to fit in or nurse the bond because my studies are my priority for now. Mum says that I've become a better person now. She says that I am more aggressive and outspoken. She gave me examples like me telling my big brother what I think is right and telling off the krabby*. I've started pouring out my feelings to my mum. I am no longer afraid to cry as much as I need to (:
I've also finally stop using the laptop excessively. I don't waste my time anymore. i don't procrastinate so much. I just really hope that this year will be VERY VERY different from last year. I hope I don't find out things about my family that I dont wish to know. I hope I study more and know what's best for me. I am also not afraid of trying out something new. I've started approaching someone when I have to without having to beg someone else to do it. I think I feel a new me. Oh, and I smile to people I know more often rather than pretending not to see them, like last year. Haha. I've been independent without my handphone. I am happy. Now I have a reason not to give em my number :p I am glad and I think I am better off without it.
I dont't know if all this is better for the people around me, but I believe it's what's best for myself and my family.
Today, I was super tired. Like really,really. Nothing much happen today until after recess. Mr Tan caught my hair ): Damn. I didnt cover the bleached areas today. Too complacent I guess. Haiz. Went to Mr Tung. I was super compliant today. Perhaps it's because of my uber big glasses. You are what you wear :p No rebel look, no nothing. Wanted to skip Dnt class but it's three periods. Mr Pong, my vice principal, approached me while I was walking past the canteen. He was really polite and nice. I like him (: He asked me what I was doing walking around and stuff. I remember cheating my lit test with Kong wei and aerenia. We were at the study corner and Mr whoever, I forgot my lit teacher name, was in class. And Lester brought as the Lit TB. Mr Pong came to us and told Lester not to disturb us. LOL. He didnt even realise we were cheating. But the TB was useless. No answers :/ So anyway, got back to the technical workshop and Mr Tan was really angry, said he'd been talking about me. Blah, blah, blah. Despite all that, I still greeted him sincerely. After all, I learnt a lot of lifeskills from him. Although I don't really like him, he still taught me some valuable lessons. Therefore, I appreciate it.
However, I'm not gonna dye my hair back. NO WAY :p So anyway, got back home. Mama was really in a good mood. When I said "peace be upon you", she was like, owh, my only daughter !! And yeah, she said some strange stuff that got me frowning in suspicion. I was really exhausted so I slept for a couple of hours after bathing and eating. Speaking of which, i havent done my 10420943284 piles of hw ! :o Peace out !
Woke up at at 6.20. Got ready. I sprayed my hair black and my face had a little black spots. Then, in school, my hands were bound to get all black whenever i touch my hair ):
Sucky day today. Lessons were super boring. I kept looking at the time. POA was such a drag. 3 periods. Got home. Ate. Bathed. Head off to my uztazah house. Mengaji. Got home. Checked webby for registration. Guess what ? The registration of Os is closed. Pfft. If I call em, and they reject my resgistration, the first person I'm gonna point my finger is : PAPA.
Can't helped it, but it's papa. Haiz. I keep telling him I need tuition but he says that he didnt need tuition last time. WTH. Him , Me, TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT WORLDS, hello ?? Wth siia. That is so freaking unreasonable. Haiz. If he's not gonna pay my tuition fees, then I will. I'll work till he starts paying for it. That- urgh, nevermind.
Recession is here. Of all times of the year, why now ??? Alamak. Ok, now I'm like complaining about everything. I'm really "geram" about everything. And I'm really scared about my Os. I really wanna go to St Andrews !! Pretty please ! haiz. Stupid - nevermind.
Shucks. Have to make myself happier. After hana mentioned about chocolates, I feel like eating one right this instance. Bahhhh. Better go now. Study time !
Peace out home dawg............................................... No hugs and kisses for today.
ZOMG ! Tonight, I had to do a really major scene :O If you know me well, I've never confronted a person before. When I'm angry, I become violence. But I don't say anything. However, just now. I did something I never did before.
Mum was really upset. She was so hurt. She wanted me to tell the person off. She wanted me to scream at the person and throw tantrum. It was a tough challenge for me as I DONT DO CONFRONTING. Like seriously. I'd rather die than confront someone. But for mum's sake, I had to do it and stand up for her. I couldnt let her down.
The person is outside my house. I literally wiggle, shaking my legs and hands inside the house, releasing the tension. I keep forgetting my lines. my maid helps me out with it. I offer Syahmi 100 habbo credits to throw things at the person. He backs out. I keep telling myself, I must do it. It is for mama. It is my job. She is hurt. I must protect her. On the verge of crying, my brain hatches an idea. I tell syahmi to get his camera. [I wanted to make myself think i'm just acting.] Start a video. And Nita mouth "action" I shut my eyes tight, pray to Allah, and walk towards the door. Open it. Look at him. Here I go. I shout as loudly as I can. It turns out to be a minor confrontation. It's only one take. No cuts. Damn. I look at the camera man, he is frowning, focusing on the camera. I take a deep breath and say my lines. It turns out to be soo fake. I had given an American accent :| " You're acting in a scene" I tell myself. I keep my cool. "Don't smile, Sabby" I tell myself again. I can do this. I shout at the person, confronting him/her of what he/she has done. I think I suck. I look at the camera man. I look at the person. The person is speechless. I confronted some more. No reply. The mouth of the person shapes like a big O The person is in panic inside. I am nervous. What do I say now ? I have cornered the person. The person remains silent. I continue doing my confrontation. A maid walked by. The maid who made my dad leave us. Audience. My confidence boosts. My voice raises in a more angry tone. I say my last words. The person is still silent and in shock. I pace into the house. I show my true emotions. I scream and jump in relief. Finally, it is over. Nita gestures to the door. Oh shit. I forgot to close and lock it ! I bribe Syahmi to close and lock it for 10 habbo credits. The strong wind slams the door. The person enters. Apologises to mama. She rejects. I think I disappoint her.
A few minutes later, Mama told me she heard my voice from her room. She said I did a really good job and thanked me for it. She said I was really loud and clear and fierce and all. Wee~ I can't believe I just did that. Wow. I'm not good in verbal fights. Seriously. That's my weakness.
"Give me the green light, give me just one night, I'm ready to go right now"
Suddenly, I'm attracted to to John Legend :p Is he charming or is he charming ! Anyway, I have ful and fever D: And I'm bored at home. Everyone's in school and my hp's spoil T.T
I have nothing much to say today. Hahaha. My mood is so-so. I've not eaten yet; low appetite, for the very first time. I'm anticipating for the moment for my hair to be short. The more it's short, the better =) Oh, I frequently get panic attacks which leads to asthma since 1 January 2009. DON'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT 'O' LEVEL OR JC TO ME. That's when I'm panic. That's what I'm doing right now. Now I'm getting a migraine. I'm like so damn freaking scared and nervous. Ahhhh !
Chong's school schedule is now morning. And it's gonna remain that way forever. That sucks :| My mengaji class is afternoon now. Sucks as well. Amaths is on Sunday. Sucky. I can't marry Joe Jonas. Haiz. Need not say more.
Perhaps I should write what i wrote in my diary :D * looks for diary*
Yaldi Hatov Veharach Altira veal tifchad..
Wait, that's jew -.-" Some lyrics. pfft.
27 December 2008 I guessed this is a beginnning of a new chapter. Year 2008, was a like a roller coaster ride. Except that, I never enjoyed it. I hope year 2009, will be much better. I have been doing a lot of thinking. 2008 was a crazy year. Therefor, I'd like to make some changes in my life. I am glad I've enrolled to a mengaji class. Thanks to Nur :D
Big Change #1 - treat Syahmi with respect Frankly, I think Syahmi is like a dog and I am his trainer. I realise this when I kept promises and he reciprocated. It is time that I talk to him like an ADULT should (:
Big Change #2 -Attend school more often :/ I know it'll be hard but I have to. I thought of "No Procrastination" on Big Change #3. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen :C
Big Change #3 - Don't like it? Live with it ! Yeah, I hate Mr. Krabbs*. I want him to die ! But there's nothing I can do right now. My hands are tied for Os/ Therefore, just be respectful in the mean time. I hate Syakir, ignore his presence. ( weird drawing of a face)
Sabira; promise me something. Do ALL your homework tomorrow. And pray at least 4 times a day. OK, I feel uneasy. FIVE ! Stay close to God. He's the only one you've got.
Big Change #4 - Have more common sense, stop wasting money & time ! -.-" Gawd, you have to think properly! Stop making stupid decisions. And stop spending money !
Big Change #5 -No Vulgarities ! Stop saying bad words ! Wash your dirty mouth ( weird drawing)
Big Change #5 -Stop talking crap ! Speak intelligently (: I really hope I don't talk crap. You know what I mean :|
Enjoy your life, Live life to the fullest !
(signature) xoxo
There you go, my diary post ! A lot of mistakes, am I right ? There's two [Big Change #5]s and one moment I'm talking YOU and the next moment; I. Like, wth -.-
Currently listening to Shee by Babyvox Re.v I love Myeong SaRang :DD She's so tall ! Although I dislike the Shee video cos they're like copying Buttons by PCD( so freaking obvious), i still like the song even till this date. Babyvox Re.v is like the hottest and best K-pop ever :D But they say the old ones are better. I dont know bout that 8)
