I went to Dhoby Ghaut with Jia hui today. & yes, Lim Jia Hui. We got a little lost and she started asking for directions. She got really panicky when we found the place we were looking for.. I wished she had been more relaxed. Then, we went to pasta mania. Ate some garlic bread. Soon, I went to White Sands and met up with mummy. She was writing a letter to Klaus. She told me something about daddy and warned me not to tell a soul, especially my blog ): Both of us are devastated. I am extremely at the peak of depression. It was so unbelievable. I want to see it for myself. I want to "perform that thing" ,which i don't dare to write it here..

Oh God, why did I have to receive such horrible news.
So unbelievable but I find it so hard to deny it.
Everything seems clear to me now.
All my questions has been answered now.
I am grateful to God for showing me what kind of parents I have been fated to have all
these while... But at the same time, life will never be the same again.
I look at my parents very differently now. I don't know them anymore,especially dad.
Who is he all these while? I'd like to hear from him now. Why can't he speak his thoughts out ??





^{I found out something about daddy
something unbelievable yet true
I wished I never knew it
But it's too late to undo..}

I took a total of FORTY photo shots of my mum.. hahas.. & towards the end, I MADE HER WEAR MY TAEKWONDO SUIT x)

She wanted to send some to germany...

here's some of her best ones :)

Today was FUN lar.. I went to Mutty's house again... Cheryl,Adeline,Maeve, Valarie and Hafeez was there when I came. We played Taitee. I stayed there from 5 to 9+(even tough everyone left) hahas. I ate A LOT. When firdaus came and the rest left, Mutt,me and fir talked. His sister is super cute, so was Aqilah's sister :D

At night, Syukri and some friends came. And some ex-friends of Mutt from elias pri.
Then when I wanted to go home, Muttaqin told me his friend 'mintak no.' I didn't believe at first. haha..

Overall, it was fun.. hahas.. better than my gloomy house..
TY MUTTY <3>

^{P.S. I cut the story super duper short}

Yesterday

Jalan hari raya with classmates (:GOOD STUFF
I'm surprised that all my malay classmates were present to jalan hari raya with us all (:
We met at Pasir Ris MRT station and took a bus to Afiq's house. Super nice. We watched a malay movie which was funny but had no meaning at all. LOL. We then ate some Fried Bee Hoon and chocolate cake. It was so delicious, Iskandar kept two slices in his bag. LMAO! We stayed there for about 2 hours. They then went to Isyraf's house while Liyana and I went to my house to take Cikgu Aida's address and handphone no. Rushed to Isyraf's place and ate Fried Maccaroni. It was also delicious. Called and messaged Mdm Aida if we coud come. But she wasn't around ): & Isyraf did not continue to jln2 cos he was sick. After that, we headed to Firdaus' house. Ate Fried Mee. It was really spicy yet delicious too (: By then, it was dusk. Muttaqin,Hidir,Hafeez went to Mustafa Centre. We camwhored at the bus stop. Can't upload pics now): USB thingy spoiled D: Anyways, we went to Iskandar's house. Ate some kuih and drank a lot as we did lots of walking to his house.

Iskandar remained at his house while Anwar went home. There was six remaining "survivors" . After that, we went to Liyana's house. Haiqel kept saying panas. Liyana said it was because of her sister of something. LOL. Couldn't eat any kuih there cos I was having migraine. Sorry Liyana.

BAD STUFF !
We had to split into 2 groups. The 1st group; liyana,me and raihan took the first taxi to raihan's house. 2nd group was haiqel,firdaus and afiq, they took the 2nd taxi. Of course we reached first. HOWEVER, ONE STUPID DRUNKARD WAS SAYING SOME WEIRD STUFF TO ME THEN WHEN THE 2ND GROUP LEFT THE TAXI, THAT DRUNKARD GOT IN ,KEPT SMILING AND WAVING AT ME DDDD:
WTF !
I was teased by them because of that drunkard mama. They kept saying I was almost raped. LOL. thankfully, raihan was with me. hahas

GOOOOOOOD (:
Raihan's abang was funny.. LOL. made me laugh a lot. Ate some mee soup there (: delicious as well la :D
However I was super sleepy.. Daddy kept calling. Took a taxi home with afiq,firdaus, liyana. Taxi fare was quite expensive. Took a bath at home and slept. Liyana gave me a wake up call. TY LIYANA (: I was so happy that day as everyone came. THANK THEM LA.. and really felt sorry and guilty as Cheryl and Adeline couldn't come.


TODAY
I'LL BE MISSING 2E5'07 ; I LOVE YOU !!!!!! && Mr Sin too !

PMS

I hate premenstrual syndrome. I really do. It ruins my life.
It always happens. So sick and tired of it luh.. I try to control it but I can't. I get suicidal as usual D:


What is premenstrual syndrome (PMS)?
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a group of symptoms linked to the menstrual cycle. PMS symptoms occur in the week or two weeks before your period (menstruation or monthly bleeding). The symptoms usually go away after your period starts. PMS can affect menstruating women of any age. It is also different for each woman. PMS may be just a monthly bother or it may be so severe that it makes it hard to even get through the day. Monthly periods stop during menopause, bringing an end to PMS.
Today, I got irritated really easily. My acne grew 10 times worser. And some other stuff happened too. I keep crying out of a sudden and could not stop. I suddenly feel very depressed and upset. And there's no reason for it. I'm neither sad nor happy with my results because although I didn't study a thing, I passed anyway. So am I feeling that I am leading a fucked-up life.

Common symptoms of PMS are:
^{-acne
-breast swelling and tenderness
-feeling tired
-having trouble sleeping
-upset stomach, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea
-headache or backache
-appetite changes or food cravings
-joint or muscle pain
-trouble concentrating or remembering
-tension, irritability, mood swings, or crying spells
-anxiety or depression}

I experience every single effing symptoms. WTF DD:


I have just finished doing my research on PMS. I don't have PMS, I have PMDD.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)
baik uh =.-

The main symptoms, which can be disabling, include:
^{feelings of sadness or despair, or possibly suicidal thoughts
feelings of tension or anxiety
panic attacks
mood swings, crying
lasting irritability or anger that affects other people
disinterest in daily activities and relationships
trouble thinking or focusing
tiredness or low energy
food cravings or binge eating
having trouble sleeping
feeling out of control
physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain}

I can't wait for my daddy to bring me to IMH. The sooner the better luh..

Then maybe my brain can finally stop malfunctioning like it always does :')

And
I hate being hyper/open-minded/horny/loud/annoying/lol-ing/doing stupid stuff etc in public

I hope to change (:

13 0ct
SELAMAT HARI RAYA
FIRST DAY
It kinda sucked big time. Since my parents are divorcing, they wouldn’t go out together. So, I had to go to my granny’s house with daddy and syahmi. I felt like I was treated like dirt there. I didn’t feel comfortable. Not long after, I went home and my uncle’s family came. THANK GOD! Upon seeing Mas, my cousin from ping yi sec, the thought of hydir struck me in the head hard. I served them as usual. My mum talked to Mas in her room with me about BGR. LOL. Suddenly, when mum left, Mas turned her head and said, “You know my friend uh? Hydir?” and I said that, that was true. She told me he liked me. And I kind of felt good because it’s not all time I get to hear that.

Surprisingly, he talked about me in school and a lot of girls asked about me. I was shocked. My eyes widened when she told me that her friends asked her a lot of questions about me and that her friend was jealous. I pitied her friend loads and I thought that the stories she told about her friend was very cute and hilarious. Haha. Her friend liked hydir too and wanted to break us apart. Again, cute. Mas told me loads of stories about hydir which I kinda enjoyed listening to. But it was a short one. We continued it at her house and when she came to my house again.

14 Oct
SECOND DAY
Mummy rented a car. $10 per hour and 40 cents for every kilometer. We had a religious driver. And oh my god! Her driving was like shhhhhh* She drove SUPER SLOW and when she reversed the car, she kept jerking. And most of all, SHE KEPT PRAYING EVERY SECOND. I’m like ‘OooohMyyyyyyGooood’ No one enjoyed the ride for the day. I went to my cousin’s house, MAS again and we talked about hydir a lil more. At night she came to my house for fun with her family and we had a loooong chat. It was very late. And I was sleepy. But we continued and talked about out life and its stories, BGR and most of all, HYDIR. It was HYDIR here and HYDIR there. I couldn’t care less for my mum if she heard it but we just talked about him throughout the night. But we did talk about something else though. She said that hydir always praise me in school and stuff. She told what hydir was like. She helped loads. THANK YOU MAS, I LOVE YOU! (: hahas. But she was super nice la. I won’t mention what she said about hydir cause it’s like A LOT.

It’s about 2am now. Mas just went home about half hour ago. I’m sleepy. My internet in my comp is down. I wrote this in my Microsoft Word. I’ll transfer this to my blog tomorrow. Maybe. We’ll see (;

GOODNIGHT.
And yousof, my no. is ********, please don’t sms my abang again. Ha-ha


AND I CAN'T UPLOAD PICS ! DD:

gonna post soon