The thing is, I hate to be in love. Because I know it won't last forever. I feel like the happiest girl on Earth when I'm in love. But very deep inside my heart, I'm depressed when I think of the future. I'm afraid that karma will return because I have not been a good girl to boys lately. I'm not saying I two-time them but I treat them like shit. And of course, I feel bad but sometimes, I can't take their shit anymore. They stress and worry me. I have fallen in deeeeep love only once. And that was Hydir. Yeah, the guy with the obnoxious pic. Well, at that point of time, love was probably very blind. But hey, it lasted for five months. That was my new record. Only that, we never stead and he treated me like real shit. Still, I've never loved a guy for that long ! haha. And here comes this guy now, who lives in the other side of Singapore who makes me jump in excitement whenever he talks to me. He's got this some kind of a charm. And Firdaus claims that he's not that handsome to begin with. Just this typical average *race boy. Am I really in love for the second time? Will I be serious for the very first time? I see it as more of a crush. I am afraid, very afraid. Afraid of the consequences, afraid of rejection, afraid of the impact it has, afraid of love... What will people think of me. One minute with that guy, the other with another, and so on.

Well, I'll just go with flow and see how it goes.

*either malay,chinese,indian