Sometimes I really feel like crying because most of my attitude comes from my mum. Everytime I like a guy. And everything works out fine, I tend to regret and just feel like dropping the whole thing. It's like a small cycle and I really don't enjoy it. Am I even ready for love in the first place ? Do I look at the looks or heart ? Can I love him consistently? What do I want in a guy ? I can't even answer these question DD: I really can't take this shit anymore. First I love the guy who loves me and within a week, I feel like I don't love him anymore and I have no interest in being in a relationship at all. What kind of a horrible person am I ??? D: I hate myself for these. Pergaps I am NOT ready for love and its nature. But I'll probably think I'm ready within these few days :/ It's like a split personality. Yesterday I talked to Emi and I realised today I was acting cute ! Chibai ! And I chatted with mod, and he said I was a different person at night, totally NOT myself. Then Ajax and him ajak me to lepak with them today. I don't know if I should. Ajax said I could chuck my brother at his place. Really nice of him. He too wasn't sure if he was coming and they both said they'd call my today to confirm. Okay why am I talking about what happened yesterday -.-"

Anyway, we talked cock and it was like 3am. We conferenced with random people I didn't even know. haha, mod asked me to sleep bside him and said that I would have a babyboy. Then we would name him with the initial S.F. S for sabby and F for his name. He came up with Syukrie for the first initial. I told him I wanted SYUKRIE FUCK. He refused. who wouldn't ? haha. Then I said I wanted Syukrie Focker. haha, nice right ?

Okay, this post is out of point !